I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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