Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
