I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
