I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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