i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
