I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
