id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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