I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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