who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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