i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
