I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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