im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
