Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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