So drunk its hurt
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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