are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
