ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
