lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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