Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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