Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
