I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
