then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
