I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
