Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
