i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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