Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
