I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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