Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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