Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
