they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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