problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
