well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
