Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
