Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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