why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
