new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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