the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
