Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
