So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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