My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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