The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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