Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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