Swine flu. Run for my life!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
as a side note pls kill me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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