I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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