Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
