She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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