If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
