i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm at about main and main street
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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