You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
