Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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