she was so not down for the gang bang
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
